and he makes you happy

sometimes I think too much, and then I think of you...

I don't have much to say, really don't, well all that I want to say is kinda blocked up in my intrepid mind.
so Ill keep it simple.

Love being back
Love my friends
Love my room
Love my lectures

Miss my sister, shes going to a matric dance in joburg on Friday. I'm really excited for her, it should be nice. Shes going to look beautiful, mainly because shes the most beautiful girl in the world, no denying it, she really is.

Camilla-Rose <3

anyway, it was my dads birthday yesterday, the most dedicated man I know. He had a lovely breakfast with a whole lot of friends at the beach hotel in PE. I should have been there.

My art project is going no where slowly, we doing printing now and I seriously cant wait for it to be over, ready to move on to sculpture.

Id also like to get back to writing stuff on this thing, like proper stuff, the stuff Ive been intending to write since I became a blogspot blogger.

Tonight's astrosoc, Ill go if the weather is clear, the past few nights the sky has been absolutely breathtaking. black with the simplest forms of hope shining.

Before I go, and leave you with this terribly boring, and if I may say so myself, quite lame update, Id just like to say that if you are reading this blog, and you are not a follower, I suggest you become one, it will add greater success to my blog, and ll be inspired to write more. Also, a friend of mine, who is also part of astrosoc has started his blog, you should check it out here, stuartgrangerblogpsot.com it pretty cool, hes in no means a humanities kid, quite sciency and computery, but he writes really well, quite impressive in fact.

Ill write again soon, off to classics
***

a roller and a palette knife

Soo what does it mean when you constantly thinking of someone and know that those thoughts are so beyond reality but yet you carry on believing it to be true....

Just sat down at a computer in the Jac labs, yip back in Grahamstown and already things are beginning to make a little bit more sense. The keyboard that I'm at has a silver star on it. No jokes, Ill take a picture...
<Okiii just got some real strange looks from the people next to me>
The goodbyes weren't as bad as usual. I was happy to come back. It's always the hardest thing to say goodbye to Milla, but I was fine.
My room feels good, pretty annoying though as I haven't been able to get my stuff out the box room as yet, so living in pretty much an empty den.

Um so I realized earlier that when I follow a blog it doesn't register as star-jade smith, sometimes it is Aimee or Aimz333 or Starg!rl, I blame this entirely on my lame internet ways and thinking I need every single email account known to the web. so note to my delightful followers, if I'm following you by any of the given names it is me, and if I'm following you twice its still me, just twice, and when I eventually figure out how to rectify everything to be back to star-jade smith then I will.

~*~

Ask Me How I Am

strangest thing in the world that the world cup is over... there was so much hype and excitement. the country seems dead. bleak.  PE is strange, all these real daily worldly things are back and life feels quite real. quite scary. Like its happening. 

Oh ya, Spain won.

I go back on Sunday, I'm really looking forward to it, back to the routine and the beauty and the education. Cam started school today. So weird that I'm out of that whole school thing, Truly is a weird vibe. no uniform, no school lunches, or back  packs filled with neatly covered books, no bitchy kids, no whining teachers, no tight outoftheface hairdos.... Its better this way, I love it now... I wouldn't go back to school for anything. 

a thousand times I think of your face, your beautiful touch and your calmness. your care like I'm the only one that was... we sat under a tree drinking red wine, we laughed until the tree fell. the leaves creating the perfect blanket  for  all our wants... but just like it does, the wind blew, all of it away, leaving us cold, the clouds moved on and above our ever-thinking heads, lay an ocean of stars. and as they started collapsing, we stood up and walked towards sirens. That was all 

winter

The 2010 soccer world cup is nearly over, the final 4 ended up being Paraguay, Netherlands, Spain and Germany. Spain and Netherlands are in the final 2, I don’t know who I support. Sometimes I just feel if I don’t know much about a certain thing I shouldn’t have any say at all. And as it stands I don’t know anything about soccer. The whole event has been exciting though.

My holiday is almost over as well. 10 days and Ill be back in that room of mine. I will also be needing to 

complete that haunting holiday project some time soon. Will try and start today.

a lil inspiration

So I fell in love with a photographer at fest, name is Ian Van Straaten, a professional guy who does celestrial earthscapes.
His work is an absolute inspiration. a quiet beauty.
His exhibition at fest was called "Karoo Nights" and was presented beautifully. I for one fell in love with one photo especially. It was being sold for R1000, the foreground was a helicopter landing spot amongst the depths of bushes and greenery, the far distance was a high way an a huge flash of light, which, when I asked him, was a truck with bright lights traveling. The sky was clear, black with thousands of stars lighting up the sacredness. to me this was the most beautiful thing I had seen for a very long time. I stood there feeling as if I was standing on that helicopter landing pad. feeling lifted by the stars...
I usually feel as if the night sky is falling on to me, covering me with all it's delights, but in this picture, I was there I was smaller than the stars, I was falling into them.

Under the Photograph stood this quote, "To be a star you must shine your own light and follow your own path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest."

I unfortunately did not have the money on me to buy this specific print, But I did take his card.

Sometimes you just love something so much, and it doesn't matter if you have it or not, it just makes a difference to your soul knowing it is there, knowing you can have it and knowing the impact and the inspiration of it's subtle presence.


you know
*

visit his short bio here (click for link)

signal fire

Caught in a bit of a rut

you know that feeling of no feelings... that feeling where all could be lost but you just don't know what it is you actually losing...
where the tiny bit of hope and belief you had in all you wish for is faded under a major amount of nothingness. all the stuff you don't know is all you really do...
you know that feeling of being caught up in a destructive web and the more it defines itself the more it captures you. and the more destruction takes place.
you know that feeling of being so desperate  for the strength you had second ago, but knowing you can never get it back because you let it go, you overlooked the preciousness of it.
you know how all you ever knew makes too much sense and you wish you didn't know anything at all. you know how those little glimpses of happiness that you have, are immediately stabbed, they a bit too blinding to hold on to...

that feeling, when you just about to fall into a deep sleep but you are awakened by almost choking on the huge lump of nervousness that has been formed in your throat.

“I knew all along. Dreams. They fall. They all fall. Know this now, you are my dream. I will always be a fool, your fool. I think its best. For you. Be someone for someone else. I will always be yours. Whatever you are in the mirror to yourself know that you are ten thousand times that for me. Whatever you think of your flaws just know that they mean nothing to me. You mirror perfection to me. A perfect pane of blemish free glass. You wont be far from my thoughts. Ever. That I swear to you. You are still my perfect girl. I know I will always have something for you. You will always have some of me. I haven’t felt anything like this before. And so be it that we wont be together. I do not expect your love. I will always have it for you though. For as long as I have a heart.”

you know that feeling when someone is about to save you from the web you've been entangled in for a very long time. or that feeling of not knowing who it is...
that feeling where you are caught between the knowledge and the passion...
that feeling of needing the knowledge but living for the passion.
you know, that feeling.
I love the passion