100 reasons why we cant be together...

1. 1.       “flipping hell i get over  you sometimes”
   2.       ‘At a drop of a hat you become a useless girlfriend who does nothing but pick at me.’
   3.       “i think its time to accept things will never get better between us.”
   4.       “Hypocrite hypocrite hypocrite”
   5.       “Piss off Aimee will you?”
   6.       You’re a manipulator
   7.       “where;s your quick snap back now?”
   8.       “Oh my fucking god i have never met anyone as spiteful as you”
   9.       “I find it sick that you choose to just quit.”
   10.   “You have destroyed me and I have nothing left”
   11.   “We have never met”
   12.   “why must you act like a child?”
   13.   “This is me pointing out you are being a bitch”
   14.   “stop trying”
   15.   “Im slayed by your pathetic attitude”
   16.   “YOU bitch”
   17.   “To think I was dreaming of youwhen you smsed. What a waste of a dream cause i wake up and the reality sucks.”
   18.   “Dont ever contact me again, go find yourself a different afterthought”
   19.   “YOuve destroyed me, you need to know that.”
   20.   I want you to feel guilt beyond guilt, to feel some of my pain
   21.   “Now Im pissed off and thinking we have nothing alike”
   22.   Mad at you, you say hectic thing and then just disappear
   23.   Its like you don’t even know me
   24.   “Im just not happy, and I said I don’t want to talk now, why cant you just respect that.”
   25.   “Im sick of your negativity”
   26.   I don’t want to understand
   27.   “Just leave me alone”
   28.   “Theres something wrong with you and I cant take it anymore”
   29.   You make mee feel bad  about who i am
   30.   “Just leave me alone Evil woman”
   31.   We are incompatible
   32.   You are full of shit
   33.   I am over you we are finished
   34.   I cant handle being with you
   35.   Theres something wrong with your head and I am not happy
   36.   You cow!
   37.   I want a girl who isn’t full of shit and completly negative to the extreme about everything
   38.   I don’t want to get snared by your pretty words
   39.   My house, my car, my masters, all in shambles because of you
   40.   We just don’t work
   41.   My life is stressful enough without you to worry about
   42.   Just leave me, you are so stupid.
   43.   I just don’t want to talk anymore its getting us nowhere
   44.   As much as you hurt me. I love you
   45.   We are from different worlds and we don’t have any common ground thats why things always blow up
   46.   I spend all my time trying to eliminate our differences
   47.   I cant stand this, what can we do when we literally want the opposite things? Its an impasse we cant get past. We cant change who we are.
   48.   I don’t want you to feel any form of horrible. I love you. But what do we do about our irreconcilable differences?
   49.   I cant handle the guilt anymore
   50.   Everything feels wrong to me
   51.   So over talking to you, you make me so angry
   52.   I don’t want to hurt you, and I don’t know what to do, so what am i supposed to do
   53.   We are from different worlds ad as much as i love you i feel unhappy every second day.
   54.   Im thinking bout all the happiness you give me. But then also the holes and the awkward feelings
   55.   I just see this ending badly .. it seems like you don’t have any interest in changing
   56.   Fuck you cow none of that is true youre a bitch for thinking that
   57.   Ill come tell you to fuck off to your face if you want
   58.   I wont be with someonewho thinks im a spineless dishonest weasel
   59.   After everything weve been through my girlfriend chooses irrational nonsense over me. Feel sick ( on me being a vegetarian)
   60.   Your unwillingness to change for us kills me. Ive done nothingbut change everyting about myself
   61.   The worst part is despite all the bullshit i still miss you. Im wrapped around your little finger
   62.   Theres no kiss and make up this time is there
   63.   I wa unsure and losing my mind and my cool
   64.   Seeing you miserable makes me miserable
   65.   You know fuck you.
   66.   Im sick of your shit useless way of dealing with situations
   67.   Don’t bother talking to me again
   68.   I don’t care nymore you make me feel horrible
   69.   Im sick of your attitude
   70.   You are useless with dealing with situations
   71.   I have no interest in that shit
   72.   You act like an immature brat seriously what a joke
   73.   Im finished being treated like a stranger
   74.   Im totaly done sick of the shit days, i was just setting up for a good week and now im back to not caring about anything and its all your fault
   75.   You drive me mad with your forceful beat around the bush attitude
   76.   You don’t love me enough to make any progress
   77.   You haven’t changed one bit ever. Still the same crap on a daily basis
   78.   I blame you, i am furious and hurt i need to be strong enough to stay away from your poison
   79.   Oh for god sake just fuck off! Your little pinpricks and passive aggressive little stabs at my unhappiness. Its your fault and you are evil!
   80.   Are you ignorant or what
   81.   You are poisonous
   82.   You let me down in small ways and so frequently and there has never been an improvemt
   83.   Oh my fuck you are stupid im not going to respond. Seriously aimee stop being suc a loser
   84.   The real issue is Your relationship retardation’
   85.   You are immature to a point that it gets ridiculous
   86.   Because of you i don’t know when ill be able to sleep, when ill be able to think when ill be able to focus when ill feel happy
   87.   We have to sever contact totally and you get on with your own thing
   88.   You are being irrational as always
   89.   If you weren’t full of crap something would’ve gotten better by now
   90.   Don’t be this way aimee its embarrassing you musnt be pathetic
   91.   Be an adult for once and accept
   92.   You are so stupid, so full of crap, so unwilling to grow up, just killing me slowly
   93.   Youre a liar
   94.   Youve led me on and tricked me into thinking you were an adult
   95.   "Im not going to take blame for getting upset over your social disorder"
   96. "  Fuck you you ignorant ungrateful bitch"
   97.   "Because You are passive aggressive you can claim to get off scot free. Over it over it over it. Just leave me alone woman you are shortening my life."
   98.  "  I hate you for destroying me"
   99.  " If this was your all, your all sucks! Because you treated me like shit almost as much as you were good to me, now you want a fucking pat on the bback for a job well done. Fuck that"
   100.       "dim wit"

Fallen Empires

NEW Snow Patrol album out... needvit! if you listen to it then you will know exactly what is happening in my life right now.

Im in the process of getting this blog up and running, a new look and some inspired words... may take time though... but want it so I will do it

*the fire is starting to go out

Im back

I am hoping to resurrect my blog :) the 'Im back' title doesn't say much because this "I'm" that I am so confused about is still trying to creep out from it's black hole, so we will need to be patient. In the meantime in the middle of final 2nd year exam and the peak of my emotional drainage and love confusion... But now is the time to start looking at beautiful things again, feeling beautiful things again, saying ugly thing to feel better but reminding myself that I need to take in everything I want.

Time to be the girl that is worth it... the girl that deserves what she wants and the girl that is valid in the world... Back to star <3
DONT THINK JUST DO
... Take a glorious bite out of the whole world...

Cold water Cleaning my wounds and a sad parade with a single balloon ***

Talk soonest,

Love, Star in a distant place

THE BIG C

is one of the best shows I have ever watched, turning something so real and scary into what life should be about. if it werent for that show I dont think id be able to cope with my current head and way of life. so ya, do me a favour and watch it, its beautiful...

The music video is one of the songs they played at the end of one of the episodes, when you get to that episode you will know why I had to post it here :)... really means so much to me right now.

the end of the earth

9 days until i turn 20...

2nd year coming to an end.

my mind my body my soul... ending.

painting spiders

You can't find the phone
So you can call it off
But it might be for the best
You can walk away anyway
Because you've nowhere else to go

Is he worth all this
Is it a simple yes?
Cause if you have to think
That's f*cked
Feels like you've loved him more
Than he loved you
And you wish you never met

Don't keel over now
Don't keel over
Don't keel over now
Don't keel over

You've up all night
And the night before
And you've lost count of drinks and time
And your friends keep calling, sorry sick
And there's strangers everywhere

Don't keel over now
Don't keel over
Don't keel over now
Don't keel over

Only little, only a little moment
It all implodes
This isn't everything you are
Breath deep in the silence
No sudden moves

This isn't everything you are
Just take the hand its offered
And hold on tight
This isn't everything you are
There's joy upon from here, right
I know there is
This isn't everything you are

When you took the call
How could you know
That he'd slipped away last night
When you wish you went
Home days ago
To say goodbye, or just hello

Don't keel over now
Don't keel over
Don't keel over now
Don't keel over

Only little, only a little moment
It all implodes
This isn't everything you are
Breath deep in the silence
No sudden moves
This isn't everything you are
Just take the hand is offered
And hold on tight
This isn't everything you are
There's joy upon from here, right
I know there is
This isn't everything you are

This isn't everything you are...

Safety

Oh my word to my spelling errors.
Oh my word to tears...
I cant remember your words... I hope you are safe. I hope I am safe.

End of Rhodes 2nd year 2011 term 3... 10 day holiday now... can you fiond yourself in 10 days?

the last time I wrote was 9 months ago

I dont know if I could ever get over you, mainly because I dont think Ill ever be able to find myself again...
You know, you give that one person your everything, you base your life on that person, rely, promise, pretend, imagine, become... and in the end.. well there will always be an end. But I never expected the end... Endings are unexpected, this one was too, although he saw it coming... (he sees everything coming...)

Im sorry I am too serious, Im sorry Im too semsitive, Im sorry Im too dedicated, Im sorry Im completly different completly out of this world, completly away from your expectations... Im sorry you put all the blame on me, Im sorry I accepted the blame all the time, Im sorry for only speaking up when it was too late, Im sorry for losing myself in you.. Im sorry for the guilt i feel and Im sorry that I deel like i dont deserve it...

I cant speak right now... but I will. 

Just me.. Back to Star
 Calling out in the dark *

What you wanted...

"Feeling lonely is something that I can stand- what I can't stand is feeling empty"

.