drawn to you...

12 days... the closer it gets, the more it feels like I’ve been on this really educational camp, and Ill be going home any day now, never to return... It’s the strangest feeling, and in some way, almost sickening. I truly don’t know if this is good or bad.

Have you ever felt so attracted to someone, so drawn to someone that a glimpse of them can turn you to rock, with a beautiful feeling of their own moving soul within your body...

Well that’s where I am at the moment, an absolute attraction. He is majestic, it is as if he walks on hot coals, and his feet are ice. It kills me. His beauty is almost terrifying, the worst thing about it is he is not just terrifically handsome, he speaks and the world stops... he speaks truth and purity.

It doesn’t help that I see him far too often, or that his audacious eyes don’t meet mine, but rather a hundred other girls that surround him... Maybe it is because my eyes are always looking at the space between him and me.. If he knew that his presence was poison to me, I wonder what his voice would whisper then...

I’ve mentioned this before, but Ill say it again, the majority of the boys walking (barefoot) on these streets of Grahamstown are grotty, ridiculously rude and disrespectful, I’m not sure if it is the alcohol intoxication or just the way it is... Never in my life have I been treated in this way, and I’m quite an assertive kind of girl. I mean, I go out, and I am literally pushed and trampled over by these awful men... I was elbowed in the back of my neck on Friday night by a group of boys, jumping up and down to Brit Spears, when they try to get past me through the crowded dance floor in Friars, I am pushed to the ground or worse, into the horny short guy wearing a thong, ya, nothing else. I don’t get it.. Seriously guy, I’m not interested that you can finish a whole jug to yourself, no, you cant dance, and you definitely cant dance (grind) with me, you are sweaty, and its not because you’ve been working out... You have pizza in your teeth, and you smell like meat and sweat. You need to wash your hair. And guy, you would be so beautiful, even with that long hair, if you would just wash it!! And to the majority, long nails.... NO.

Shit, and if you insist on being barefoot, cut your toenails, and if they are yellow, stop smoking, or just wear some damn shoes... shit, no it disgusts me...

Ok enough rambling, I said in my post yesterday that I wanted to work, well that is not happening, I rate I may go to the art studio later and do some drawing, oh yes, on Thursday, we drew a nude model, was brilliant…

I can tell that this week is going to be a real stresser, and I can also tell that this bad feeling I have about this art video project, may just be real, you know, for a reason… it’s going to be bad.

And then I have an essay to write for Classics on the Odyssey. Shit nervous, as I have not written an essay here yet… and on Friday, I have an art history test… I expect a busy week, and I look forward to the end of it…

Cannot wait to see my beautiful sister’s face and to hear her sweet voice and funny stories…

Untill then, I will try cope with the 87 girls here and their smart ass comments…

Before I go, I had a brilliant time with Jacks and Lucy on Friday night, they are such beauts, we went to the Dressed to get laid Party, obviously not dressed to get laid, as we did not want to get laid. On Saturday, I had to escape from this room and the voices of the girls and I went into town and did some shopping, (as much as you can in the g.spot) and I bumped into Megan, sweet girl, and she has sort of inspired me to work harder. It’s the only way to get where you need to be… ok and I did the same this morning, escaping… and I plan to do the same now, going to go find some desolate place, under a tree and finish this book once and for all.



Until soon, may whatever you believe in keep you safe..
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