then there was you...

I'm back at home after a 7 or something week term...
Best term actually.
Amazing term to be more precise.

quick update of my life...
received my first A+ in university
received my first "this is the worst mark"
Have the most amazing friends
Forgot how to miss home
fell a bit in love with the feeling of clay
fell even more in love with the feeling of not doing anything else but painting eventually...
had my work that I did for the 10 day holiday project put up for the student exhibition
enjoyed lectures
participated in university social life to the max
got voted 'vice president' of Astrosoc :)
had the best time with the best boy you could imagine

Ive grown so much in this short space of time, not into someone new or different or better, but rather into more of me... More belief in me and what I'm doing. I love it. 

If you must know, the above work for the ten day project was based on my goldfish, Klaus and Fritz that both died from fin rot... and who I have mentioned before. 

Anyway, I am back home and Im loving being with my sister, such an inspiration that girl... active to the full, scuba diving, ballroom, lifesaving, paddling, gym, toastmasters, interact, gosh i cant even remember it all, but it's amazing... I'm so proud of her. In a way I feel guilty that I was never like that, never participated in much, I mean i was part of the newspaper and I was a prefect and other small things... but never active, full of life. I'm not complaining, I would've been if I felt thats what i needed to do, or if thats what i wanted to do, but it wasn't, my true calling is where I am today. And I  know that throughout my body and soul. isn't that what truly matters? I mean, I'm completely happy with my life, and what I do is who I am, and all I ever wanted, I wouldn't change a thing... It's too close to perfect<3 ... 

So I found out a girl from my past, a best friend at one stage has had a baby, this has put a whole new feeling to my life, like I cant believe it, shocking yes... but more than that, it scares me how like we are in the same age category, I understand many people have children around this time, 18, 19, 20 Ive heard it seen it before and whatever, but now that I can actually relate to it, put myself in that position, it's totally crazy. I'm trying so hard to not let it effect me, we all have different purposes in this life, but whilst my biggest stress is to write a good essay and reference properly, hers is to raise a child.... On th same note, another girl also a good friend in the past has just announced her engagement... 

I don't feel mature enough to do my own washing at this stage of my life, let alone think about marriage and children. 

I guess it's all relevant for the individual. I guess it just makes me think. And the thought is absolutely terrifying and extremely sickening.... 

so there's this boy... a boyfriend in fact, in my life... 

not only in my life but in my head most of the time....

he's pretty amazing,,,

I'm amazed by him...

never felt this way... 

 :-) 

wow.

moving on before I get into too much detail about the above incredibleness... 

In this short holiday I will be getting my eyes retested, doing the usual beauty regime, eating amazing food, including things from the German bakery and cute coffee shops that Ive never been to, I will be spending as much time as possible with Milly and helping her out with school stuff, (iv already watched her dance) I will be    learning how to drive again although this might not happen, as I tried yesterday and reversed drove about 7 metres stalled and got out shaking... Hmmm, I will be seeing the amazing guy, I will be writing an essay for classics... I will be jogging a bit... cutting my hair maybe, and organising my passport... 

I know it's not very interesting to read about my plans but this is all I can really say at the moment.... 

Before I do go, I watched Inception, yes the movie that is changing cinema as we know it, and it was amazing, exceeded expectations. As Gary Lightbody says, 

"This movie is nothing short of a miracle. A blockbuster that delivers as much punch, explosions and gunfire than any trigger happy nonsense fest as any this summer has to offer but also, oh also, also, also, also it gives you so much more! It is a mind bending, nerve shredding, intelligent and heartbreaking love story that if put all in all could change the face of cinema for years to come. "

ok, I think I'm done, but lastly, way lastly, I'm going to leave you with the Parlotones new music video for their song 'stars fall down' kinda brings me to tears, it feels like my brain... 

*laugh, talk, tickle and taste until the stars fall down

.s.t.a.r.

share your knowledge

 DR Randy Pausch was an American professor of computer science and human-computer interaction and design at Carnegie Mellon University he died of pancreatic cancer in 2008, but wrote a book The Last Lecture before then.. It was one of the bestsellers in 2007. He left behind a legacy, and I cant help but to share some of the "points on how to improve your life" here. I am not one for self-help books or articles on such things. But this story of Dr Pausch is so beautiful. I love how the points are realistic, to the point and simplistically beautiful.

Personality:  

1. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don't have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment
3. Don't over do; keep your limits
4. Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does
5. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
6. Dream more while you are awake  
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
8. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
10. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present
11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you
12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
       Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13. Smile and laugh more
14. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Community:  

15. Call your family often
16. Each day give something good to others
17. Forgive everyone for everything
18. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6
19. Try to make at least three people smile each day
20. What other people think of you is none of your business
21. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:  

22. Put god first in anything and everything that you think, say and do.
23. god heals everything
24. Do the right things
25. However good or bad a situation is, it will change
26. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
27. The best is yet to come
28. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
29. When you awake alive in the morning, thank god for it
30. If you know god you will always be happy. So, be happy. 

I won't be doing this often(posting stuff like this) I will get back to my life eventually, but it's quite a difficult task when it's so real that words are not enough.

I'm about to finish my Art History Essay.

Im going home this weekend.

It's inter varsity.

I'm drawing people climbing paper.
I was told that my work is "a perfect combination of representation and accuracy."

I'm doing a clay head, a self portrait. 

I love the feeling of the clay.

till soon,
may the moon rest on your lashes
*

skip skip heart attack... red wine down my shirt

* now it's up to the stars or the ocean, lets not retrace our steps to the car... *

Sometimes, you just get over it. Life is scary, and I do live in a fair bit of fear.
Sometimes though, it's just better to stop. It's better to dive back down in your 'world' that is yours and just be...
Sometimes people try and step into your world, but sometimes it's just better that you keep that world safe from any intruders... anyone that can't accept the beauty and sacredness of the place...
Sometimes it's the best thing to do.
Most of the time this world is the safest place I can find.

I'm over leaving it. I'm over letting people walk inside, and most of all I'm disappointed in everyone that could never recognise the mystery, could never recognise the talent, could never recognise the beauty, could never accept the time difference and rather crashed into it, claiming total understanding.
It cant work. not so fast.

Maybe somewhere else will not be half as cold as me...

I was blinded by the lights, I saw reflected in your eyes...

Barefoot on the wine soaked ground
The same songs, the same old sounds
Each one a perfect fit
this hit heralds a perfect hit

Shaken to the pounding drums
I won't wait till the kingdom comes
'Cause I finally understand
As your hand defines my hand

Just can't express how beautiful these lyrics are... They come from Tired Pony's song 'I finally love this town'
Now Tired Pony is Mr Lightbody's side project away from Snow Patrol, it's hectic because the members include Gary Lightbody, Richard Colburn, Iain Archer, Jacknife Lee, Peter Buck, Scott McCaughey and even includes contributions from people like Zoey Deschanel, M Ward and Tom Smith. Now if you don't recognise any of these names, I recommend you google them to understand the importance of this group. It has a hint of country, mainly because of lightbody's complete love for that genre. I also read somewhere that it has been his life long aspiration to have a country album... anyway, as usual, the lyrics to the songs that I have heard, are amazing.... soul turning. They released the album in July, but I doubt SA will get it, will order it though.
another one of his many side projects is Listen... Tanks! also amazing... everything that man touches turns to perfection... Anyway, this project will only be completed once Tired Pony has taken off, but so far the one song, 'Black and Silver' is taking over my brain... I cant help but to be part of Lighbody and his destructive personality when he describes the sound of this music as, "Russian submarine music". 




Do yourself a favour, and just listen. (don't mind the references to Snow Patrol in the video, you must remember these are two separate entities. Lame person who did it!)


 Will write again soon, I have such a hectic day ahead of me... need to find that strong part of me that I seem to have lost, or simply forgotten about. 

S*t*a*r

Life Happens

W: I will always have feelings for her, but the feelings I have for you are still the same
A: But I'm always going to be thinking of you and her. Like I feel like I'm just here till you are together again. Or how you are constantly comparing me to her...
W: That's hurtful :(
....    But don't you subconsciously compare me to all the past boys?
A: silence, didn't reply. (went offline)
what A was thinking.... : no, there's no comparison...

kinda real

*: whats going on in that lil brain of yours?
w: when I get one, I'll let you know...


C: What does Aimee mean to you?
w: I don't know, I've never looked it up...

w: you're like a book in a foreign language...

He's something else. He's a complete light.

*